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OMG Neighbours! Thread


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This doesn't really belong in any of the political threads, and doesn't really belong in the housing or inflation threads, so as much as it pains me to create a new thread, here we go.

 

There was an interesting piece in The Conversation today about how "neighbouring" has changed with the way communities have been pushed into higher-density living environments.  The formatting from a copy/paste perspective is absolute shit, so I won't quote the article here, but rather share the URL below:

https://theconversation.com/higher-density-living-is-changing-the-way-neighbouring-works-in-canada-226374

 

I say this perhaps partially in jest, but the introvert in me would be perfectly content in my old age to be the guy who sits on their porch in a rocking chair with my lazy ol' pooch beside me and a shotgun in my lap, as I call out with beer in my hand to the unsolicited marketer walking onto my property, "Git off muh lawn, ya punk!"  🧑‍🌾

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Neighbourliness has always had its ebbs and flows.  Social Historians in England blame the industrial revolution for taking away the English "neighbourliness".  Everyone helped everyone (like you make cheese, i make soup, they make horse shoes, lets trade!).  Today in my cul de sac a heavy portion of the homes are a little more elderly than we are, so i tend to help with the lawns, and they offer friendship and a watchful eye.  When i was a kiddo in the 80s we traded sugar and eggs and played on the same sports teams for sharing the driving load.  Debatable opinion --> I think the idea of caring more for the well being of others makes you more Canadian.  

We are all canucks

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On this topic, I think the idea of neighbours being good and bad can fluctuate greatly depending on city, area, complex, and so forth. I think with the way rentals have been going, there's more people than ever and there's more nuisance. More nuisance = more hostility. And this stuff really boils over. At the end of the day, people are people. We are not always going to agree with each other (and that's fine). Any differences can be settled in a fun and/or civil way. I think the more educated opinions, the better, but it's also important that for every person who is educated, we must all remember that we have to listen (not necessarily agree) to people's points.

 

I think the perception is that society is going downhill with regards to communication/empathy, especially with social media and the lack of person-to-person interactions. There are lots of things where talking to someone in person makes SO MUCH of a difference to understanding people. When we're on the forums, we have usernames. We don't necessarily see the reason to care about a poster. You'd think that Facebook would make a difference because someone's name is attached to a post. Yet, that's not the case.

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1 hour ago, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

This doesn't really belong in any of the political threads, and doesn't really belong in the housing or inflation threads, so as much as it pains me to create a new thread, here we go.

 

There was an interesting piece in The Conversation today about how "neighbouring" has changed with the way communities have been pushed into higher-density living environments.  The formatting from a copy/paste perspective is absolute shit, so I won't quote the article here, but rather share the URL below:

https://theconversation.com/higher-density-living-is-changing-the-way-neighbouring-works-in-canada-226374

 

I say this perhaps partially in jest, but the introvert in me would be perfectly content in my old age to be the guy who sits on their porch in a rocking chair with my lazy ol' pooch beside me and a shotgun in my lap, as I call out with beer in my hand to the unsolicited marketer walking onto my property, "Git off muh lawn, ya punk!"  🧑‍🌾


 

We’ve been lucky in that the two neighborhoods that we spent the majority of our lives in have both had excellent neighbours.

 

In Edmonton we lived next to an older Asian woman whose husband had passed and children moved away. Cooking was her passion and she took great delight in making these large Chinese meals and bringing them over to share. Never tasted anything like it before or since! One of her children wound up buying our house when we returned to the lower mainland so she could be close to her mom in her last years. 


Our neighbour here is a retired farmer who loves to spend his time in the garden. Supplies us with free lettuce, tomatoes and other veggies all summer long. My wife cans for him and makes jams & jellies in return. 
 

Having said that it’s still true when they say “good fences make good neighbours.”

 

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One of the reasons we bought our house was the location. We are on the corner of an intersection where a circle drive starts and as such, we don't have neighbours on either side. On one side is the street and on the other a small baseball diamond that gets used mainly as a dog park.

 

We have neighbours across the street and a nice elderly man owns the house behind us. His back yard is adjacent to our back yard, separated by a stand of trees.

 

Not that we have anything particular against having neighbours, but we're quite happy with our situation.

Edited by RupertKBD
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I grew up in a very community oriented town until I was 10 where everyone knew each other.

 

These days people are so distant and especially living in an apartment building. I would love to have community events with the neighbors. I could bring champagne and cake pops! 

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36 minutes ago, 4petesake said:


 

We’ve been lucky in that the two neighborhoods that we spent the majority of our lives in have both had excellent neighbours.

 

In Edmonton we lived next to an older Asian woman whose husband had passed and children moved away. Cooking was her passion and she took great delight in making these large Chinese meals and bringing them over to share. Never tasted anything like it before or since! One of her children wound up buying our house when we returned to the lower mainland so she could be close to her mom in her last years. 


Our neighbour here is a retired farmer who loves to spend his time in the garden. Supplies us with free lettuce, tomatoes and other veggies all summer long. My wife cans for him and makes jams & jellies in return. 
 

Having said that it’s still true when they say “good fences make good neighbours.”

 

 

My wife told me that our neighbours used to be quote sociable when she was a kid and the members of the cul-de-sac actually took effort to get to know each other, but with the passing of her father, neighbours moving out and new ones moving in, kids growing up and moving out to start their own colony elsewhere, and the general sentiment in society these days about questioning what and who you can trust has kind of eroded all of that.  Gone are the days when there were apparently cul-de-sac potluck dinners and BBQs, when kids met in the cul-de-sac to play with each other, when neighbours actually asked how everyone is doing.  My moving in hasn't helped that either, as I'm a bit of a lone wolf in that regard and have a hard time warming up to "new" faces.

 

We're basically on good terms with our direct neighbours (ie. the ones that are directly adjacent to our property), but other members of the cul-de-sac have become assholes.  Especially one of the original owners when the place was first developed, approximately directly across the way.  They're so fucking nosy that they constantly come over to tell my mother-in-law to water the grass even when the water restrictions were in effect (and have even stepped onto our property to use our hose to water our lawn during the restrictions).  Not like they'd pay the fucking fine for us if we got ticketed, assholes.  👹

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Growing up I lived in a great neighbourhood. 

 

There were probably 7 families that all all had kids the same age.  So we would play football at the school a block away and street hockey and all hung out.  All the adults helped each other out if anything needed done.  Two of my friends from back then are still my best friends after 55 years.

 

One of the neighbours was from Edmonton and used to babysit Gene Kiniski.

 

I have lived in this house now for 28 years.  Fantastic neighbours still.   Although some are dying off now and being replaced by younger people.

 

All the lots are big so there is lots of privacy.

 

My favourite people who lived next door have both passed away unfortunately.  She wold bring us food from her garden and we would give her cherries from the cheery tree.

For their 50th I bought them a night ant the Tualip Casino in Marrysville wash since they were going that way anyways.

 

 

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18 minutes ago, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

 

My wife told me that our neighbours used to be quote sociable when she was a kid and the members of the cul-de-sac actually took effort to get to know each other, but with the passing of her father, neighbours moving out and new ones moving in, kids growing up and moving out to start their own colony elsewhere, and the general sentiment in society these days about questioning what and who you can trust has kind of eroded all of that.  Gone are the days when there were apparently cul-de-sac potluck dinners and BBQs, when kids met in the cul-de-sac to play with each other, when neighbours actually asked how everyone is doing.  My moving in hasn't helped that either, as I'm a bit of a lone wolf in that regard and have a hard time warming up to "new" faces.

 

We're basically on good terms with our direct neighbours (ie. the ones that are directly adjacent to our property), but other members of the cul-de-sac have become assholes.  Especially one of the original owners when the place was first developed, approximately directly across the way.  They're so fucking nosy that they constantly come over to tell my mother-in-law to water the grass even when the water restrictions were in effect (and have even stepped onto our property to use our hose to water our lawn during the restrictions).  Not like they'd pay the fucking fine for us if we got ticketed, assholes.  👹

I would tell them if they step on the property again that I am calling the police.

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2 minutes ago, The Arrogant Worms said:

I would tell them if they step on the property again that I am calling the police.

 

I would, except it's not my property.  My mother-in-law has a "don't raise a fuss, don't create a scene, don't piss off the neighbours" philosophy, and just acquiesces with their demands.  Pretty frustrating, I'd have to say, but it's not my call.

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11 minutes ago, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

 

My wife told me that our neighbours used to be quote sociable when she was a kid and the members of the cul-de-sac actually took effort to get to know each other, but with the passing of her father, neighbours moving out and new ones moving in, kids growing up and moving out to start their own colony elsewhere, and the general sentiment in society these days about questioning what and who you can trust has kind of eroded all of that.  Gone are the days when there were apparently cul-de-sac potluck dinners and BBQs, when kids met in the cul-de-sac to play with each other, when neighbours actually asked how everyone is doing.  My moving in hasn't helped that either, as I'm a bit of a lone wolf in that regard and have a hard time warming up to "new" faces.

 

We're basically on good terms with our direct neighbours (ie. the ones that are directly adjacent to our property), but other members of the cul-de-sac have become assholes.  Especially one of the original owners when the place was first developed, approximately directly across the way.  They're so fucking nosy that they constantly come over to tell my mother-in-law to water the grass even when the water restrictions were in effect (and have even stepped onto our property to use our hose to water our lawn during the restrictions).  Not like they'd pay the fucking fine for us if we got ticketed, assholes.  👹


 

That sucks because it only takes one or two assholes to really change the neighourhood. We were lucky when we moved here because the local asshole moved out. Turns out it was the guy we bought our house from and he had been at war with everybody. The day we moved in the guy next door came over and started ranting at me over a list of grievances. I told him to calm down and come back in a few days and we’d talk. When he came back he apologized and said he didn’t realize how much anger he had built up over the years. He was a rather likeable guy but passed away and his wife moved off. 
 

Too bad about the potlucks. We had a few here over the years with the last in a neighbour’s driveway just before  Covid. Met a few of the younger families with kids that a had moved in as our neighbourhood gets younger again. Maybe they’ll keep it going but I have my doubts.

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33 minutes ago, The Arrogant Worms said:

I would tell them if they step on the property again that I am calling the police.

 

29 minutes ago, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

 

I would, except it's not my property.  My mother-in-law has a "don't raise a fuss, don't create a scene, don't piss off the neighbours" philosophy, and just acquiesces with their demands.  Pretty frustrating, I'd have to say, but it's not my call.

 

There's a pretty simple fix for this. (The water thing, anyway)

 

Any outside hose should have an internal shutoff valve. I'm not sure what kind of winters you get, but they're quite common anywhere that experiences sub-freezing winter temperatures.

 

If you MIL doesn't have one, it might be worth looking  into having a plumber install one, or if you're handy, it's pretty simple to do using SharkBites....Once installed, you shut off the supply from the inside, until you want it turned on.

 

I did this exact thing at my house. (Not because of neighbours, but because I didn't want the pipes to freeze in winter)

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1 hour ago, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

 

My wife told me that our neighbours used to be quote sociable when she was a kid and the members of the cul-de-sac actually took effort to get to know each other, but with the passing of her father, neighbours moving out and new ones moving in, kids growing up and moving out to start their own colony elsewhere, and the general sentiment in society these days about questioning what and who you can trust has kind of eroded all of that.  Gone are the days when there were apparently cul-de-sac potluck dinners and BBQs, when kids met in the cul-de-sac to play with each other, when neighbours actually asked how everyone is doing.  My moving in hasn't helped that either, as I'm a bit of a lone wolf in that regard and have a hard time warming up to "new" faces.

I currently live on a cul-de-sac just like your wife used to describe as a kid herself, and I literally come home regularly and tell my own wife how grateful I am for it.  My kids are in my neighbors backyard as I type this bouncing on the trampoline with their kids and I can hear them from my garage.   All the kids in the hood go to the same school and everyone goes to everyone's birthdays ect, everyone doesn't get along all the time but we get over it and respect each other....

I helped someone on the cul-de-sac cut a dead tree down because I have a chainsaw and he gave me the wood for my fireplace.  

 

I know what it's like to have a-hole neighbours from my last residence and it ain't pleasant sadly.

 

I feel fortunate to live where I do now.

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I once had a gangster neiighbour. He had been shot 3 times, in a wheel chair from them bullets. He dealt drugs and used them too. He started having mental breaks, hearing voices. He decided the voices were actually me yelling through the walls at all hours of the night. He gumbled and snapped at me when i would see him in the apt hallways. I had a long talks with him and would calm him down a bit but he kept resetting and freaking out. I even told him to call me when he hears the yelling anytime of the night. Or record it, to prove it. He never did.

One day two thugs knocked on my door. They were there to deal with me, they believed him I guess...

I told my wife to keep the door locked and to call the cops if things got bad. I stepped into the hallway and confronted these two. I had had enough. I was pissed. I was ready to fight. They were going to find out that my kindness should not be mistaken for weakness. I was competing a lot in martial arts at the time at a pretty high level. I was going to fold these two like laundry. 

Something about my confidence made them chill down a bit. One of the them said...' he does get pretty F'd up, he has been talking other crazy stuff.' After some back and forth they actually apologised and realised that their dealer was just sending them into some potential trouble for no reason.

 

We moved out not too long after. The cops were involved but it's hard to get a guy evicted over these kinds of things. I was getting to the end of my leash and was starting to think of some pretty dumb solutions to this problem. So it was best to remove myself.

 

He died not too long after. One of the bullets was still inside him and caused complications, from what I hear. 

 

The universe took care of it for me but to my surprise I was sad to hear of his death. He was a troubled soul. I hope he is resting in peace. 

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51 minutes ago, bishopshodan said:

I once had a gangster neiighbour. He had been shot 3 times, in a wheel chair from them bullets. He dealt drugs and used them too. He started having mental breaks, hearing voices. He decided the voices were actually me yelling through the walls at all hours of the night. He gumbled and snapped at me when i would see him in the apt hallways. I had a long talks with him and would calm him down a bit but he kept resetting and freaking out. I even told him to call me when he hears the yelling anytime of the night. Or record it, to prove it. He never did.

One day two thugs knocked on my door. They were there to deal with me, they believed him I guess...

I told my wife to keep the door locked and to call the cops if things got bad. I stepped into the hallway and confronted these two. I had had enough. I was pissed. I was ready to fight. They were going to find out that my kindness should not be mistaken for weakness. I was competing a lot in martial arts at the time at a pretty high level. I was going to fold these two like laundry. 

Something about my confidence made them chill down a bit. One of the them said...' he does get pretty F'd up, he has been talking other crazy stuff.' After some back and forth they actually apologised and realised that their dealer was just sending them into some potential trouble for no reason.

 

We moved out not too long after. The cops were involved but it's hard to get a guy evicted over these kinds of things. I was getting to the end of my leash and was starting to think of some pretty dumb solutions to this problem. So it was best to remove myself.

 

He died not too long after. One of the bullets was still inside him and caused complications, from what I hear. 

 

The universe took care of it for me but to my surprise I was sad to hear of his death. He was a troubled soul. I hope he is resting in peace. 

Often with auditory hallucinations the voices subjects hear are identical to the voices of people they know in reality. I assume you're over it by now, but for what it's worth, it must have been very real for him. I'm glad you found a solution that worked without anyone being needlessly hurt.

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2 hours ago, RupertKBD said:

 

 

There's a pretty simple fix for this. (The water thing, anyway)

 

Any outside hose should have an internal shutoff valve. I'm not sure what kind of winters you get, but they're quite common anywhere that experiences sub-freezing winter temperatures.

 

If you MIL doesn't have one, it might be worth looking  into having a plumber install one, or if you're handy, it's pretty simple to do using SharkBites....Once installed, you shut off the supply from the inside, until you want it turned on.

 

I did this exact thing at my house. (Not because of neighbours, but because I didn't want the pipes to freeze in winter)

 

There are, and we did, but then she got browbeaten into turning them back on.   Reference: her philosophy of "don't raise a fuss, don't create a scene, don't piss off the neighbours".  They know, and they push, and she acquiesces.  Without fail.  :picard:

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1 minute ago, Kootenay Gold said:

Jeeez... Does everyone on here live in a cul-de-sac lol. I live in one too. Thought this was going to be a quiet locale but not to be.

 

I grew up on a "grid" street.  The kind where the blocks are all rectangular and uniform in the number of houses per block, with an alleyway in the back that city services like garbage collection utilized, and all the houses were uniformly "Vancouver Special" style.  I could never understand how people could live on any other style of street when I was a kid.  Then I moved out in University to live in residence, and I was amazed at how narrow-minded I was.

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57 minutes ago, 6of1_halfdozenofother said:

 

I grew up on a "grid" street.  The kind where the blocks are all rectangular and uniform in the number of houses per block, with an alleyway in the back that city services like garbage collection utilized, and all the houses were uniformly "Vancouver Special" style.  I could never understand how people could live on any other style of street when I was a kid.  Then I moved out in University to live in residence, and I was amazed at how narrow-minded I was.

I also grew up on the gridded streets of N. Calgary till around age 7. Have not lived on one of those since and I am in my 70's

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I have a horse farm for a 'neigh'bor and a big open field looked after farm wise by my brother in law's nephew. The perfect neighbours: far enough away to not hear each other ever, and close enough to see when cars pull into each others yards when the house lights are off. Win Win. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stay outa my fort. 

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