what happened?

[smithers joe]

what happened on the worse day of your life?

[bishopshodan]

ALS took my Dad.

I watched the light fade from my hero's eyes.

 

[gwarrior]

Had to be when I lost my grandma to cancer back in december. She never told us she had cancer, and my mom and I are 100% sure she knew and didn't tell us. Beside the point. We got a call from on the sunday from the hospital that she fell, and one of her neighbors called an ambulance. And she was gone on the following Tuesday morning. Completely out of left field.

[grumpyone]

sorry, 2 days :

parents were on vacation in Palm Springs... phone call, my father passed away of a heart attack at the age of 55.

Sunday morning IN church, got phone call...my brother died in his sleep... also @ the age of 55.

 

needless to say the entire year that I was 55 I was VERY nervous, especially when I had a heart attack only 2 months into my 55th year. 

(p.s. I did survive )

 

[6of1_halfdozenofother]

[smithers joe]

mine should have been when my wife died, but she had suffered so much her last year with brain cancer, i was happy for her. i was sorry for me but happy for her, not to be in pain anymore.

sometime later i was looking for something in a drawer. i found a birthday card she had bought me but was never able to give me. the card read, when we first met, you took my breath away. after all these years, you still take my breath away. i remembered being there for her last breath.

i have to admit, i shed a few tears,

[RupertKBD]

 

Sorry to open old wounds, but I thought the topic was a bit heavy.....

[bishopshodan]

46 minutes ago, smithers joe said:

mine should have been when my wife died, but she had suffered so much her last year with brain cancer, i was happy for her. i was sorry for me but happy for her, not to be in pain anymore.

sometime later i was looking for something in a drawer. i found a birthday card she had bought me but was never able to give me. the card read, when we first met, you took my breath away. after all these years, you still take my breath away. i remembered being there for her last breath.

i have to admit, i shed a few tears,

 

My dad hid a note in a book.

 

A few months after he passed, mom found it...

'They say life is what you make it. It looks like we made it'

 

[smithers joe]

35 minutes ago, RupertKBD said:

 

Sorry to open old wounds, but I thought the topic was a bit heavy.....

sorry, i'm just trying to get us through the silly season.

[Canuck You]

Losing my dad when I was 26 was the worst day of my life. A lot of dreams were shattered.

[RupertKBD]

30 minutes ago, smithers joe said:

sorry, i'm just trying to get us through the silly season.

 

All good Joe. I'm a bit lucky, I suppose. Although both of my parents (and all of my grandparents) have passed, all of them lived into their 80s and 90s, so I'm one of the few who has no real tragedies in my lifetime.

 

The closest I come is the three Canuck final losses and the four straight Super Bowl losses for the Buffalo Bills.

[StrayDog]

The day I had to put down my first dog. Over 30 years ago and it still stings

[Snoop Hogg]

Over 10 years ago, my brother passed away. In a lot of ways, I died that day too.

[gwarrior]

1 hour ago, StrayDog said:

The day I had to put down my first dog. Over 30 years ago and it still stings

Been down that road 3 times. It's not fun.

[Ghostsof1915]

Waking up July 1st, 1985. And the right side of my face was not functioning. 

Went to ER. Found out I had Bell's Palsy. I thought I'd look like Billy Idol the rest of my life. Heavy doses of antibiotic cleared it up in a week.

Next was my stroke. I called 911 when the world wouldn't stop spinning when I woke up. Had to wait 90 minutes for an ambulance because of a crash on the Oak St. Bridge. 

The paramedics and 911 operator were amazing. As was all the doctors and nurses and staff at VGH and GF Strong. 

 

 

[Bob Long]

Losing my dad to covid. The actual day was hard, but he managed to make a phone call 2 days before with the help of a nurse. Hearing him gasp out his last words to me was crushing. None of us could be there with him. I know people say sometimes, particularly in movies, that getting to say good bye is a good experience, but it's really not. 

[Optimist Prime]

5 hours ago, Snoop Hogg said:

Over 10 years ago, my brother passed away. In a lot of ways, I died that day too.

Next year will be my big brother's suicides ten year anniversary. I am so sorry you had to lose a brother too. 

 

I have been kind of open about mental health struggles on the forums, and honestly for 7 years I wondered why I didn't have the guts to do what my bro was tough enough to face and get on with, the last few years with weekly therapy I am no longer suicidal myself. I feel for where this may have left you after your bro passed. Hope you are doing okay these days.

[Ilunga]

5 hours ago, StrayDog said:

The day I had to put down my first dog. Over 30 years ago and it still stings

 

It wasn't the worst day of my life, however when I had to make the decision for the vet to put down my beautiful girl Tusk, that was a really bad day. 

 

She was a big mastiff cross, my friend had a few litters out his two of his dogs.

 

Many of Tusks brothers and sisters used to hunt wild pigs with us.

Not Tusk, she was a family dog. 

I remember mum was cautious about a " killer " pig dog.

Within a few months she loved Tusk like a child. 

She was a gentle dog.

She lived to 16 and half.

Very old for such a large dog. 

She had a friend for a while, another dog who I found dumped on the side of the road near a friends house.

The poor thing had been brutally abused. 

 

Anyway, I cried my heart out.

Was gutted for days. 

I had, had dogs for all my life until she died in 2006.

I haven't been able to commit to a dog since.

 

Dogs give you something very few people do, unconditional love. 

 

It wasn't as bad as when mum and dad died.

 

I can't even talk about the worst day in my life.

It hurts to much.

 

 

[gwarrior]

8 minutes ago, Ilunga said:

 

It wasn't the worst day of my life, however when I had to make the decision for the vet to put down my beautiful girl Tusk, that was a really bad day. 

 

She was a big mastiff cross, my friend had a few litters out his two of his dogs.

 

Many of Tusks brothers and sisters used to hunt wild pigs with us.

Not Tusk, she was a family dog. 

I remember mum was cautious about a " killer " pig dog.

Within a few months she loved Tusk like a child. 

She was a gentle dog.

She lived to 16 and half.

Very old for such a large dog. 

She had a friend for a while, another dog who I found dumped on the side of the road near a friends house.

The poor thing had been brutally abused. 

 

Anyway, I cried my heart out.

Was gutted for days. 

I had, had dogs for all my life until she died in 2006.

I haven't been able to commit to a dog since.

 

Dogs give you something very few people do, unconditional love. 

 

It wasn't as bad as when mum and dad died.

 

I can't even talk about the worst day in my life.

It hurts to much.

 

 

Wow, really 16 1/2? That's a good long life for any dog. Our first dog was 17 when we had to make that call. Making that call is the worst feeling. I don't wish that on anyone. 

[Optimist Prime]

What happened on the worst day of my life is an 11 year saga with roots even ten years earlier.  

 

I dropped my wife off at the bus for her to go to work at Veterans Affairs where she helped the families of veterans suffering from Opperational Stress Injuries, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorders and the like. Instead of taking the bus to work she tried to kill herself by jumping in front of one, and I was oblivious to her mental health struggles until I got the phone call.

 

In the time SINCE that day, I have been diagnosed with my own OSI's and have been getting treatment regularly since 2018. In the years prior I was suicidal on the weekly for years, see my post a few above to see that luckily I didn't have the guts to do what my big brother had done in 2015.

 

Going way back before my wife's bad day in 2016, a commutative effect of several concussions over time and and what they term 'moral injuries' I subjected myself to in the advancement of my career, without getting into those specifics, caused me incredible harm. Physically and mentally.

 

My career was soaring while I was doing things around the globe for and my sense of self was taking a beating, suffice to say.

 

All at once my career was over and I struggled to find purpose or even explanation for what I was feeling and thinking. I was too proud to seek help and I didn't want to talk to VAC, even after my wife was recruited to their OSISS program by Romeo Dallaire. He famously led the UN group in Rawanda and has tried to kill himself at least once and so PTSD is his pet project, or helping with it is, I should say.

 

So without realizing it, my lack of looking after myself contributed to my wife's suicide attempt and that day became the worst day of my life.

 

Fortunately we both survived our own brains attempts to ruin us and we are now both medically retired. 

 

I see a therapist on the weekly and she has a full psych team on her case monthly.

 

We are still together but she called off the marriage in 2016, on paper, and we have been rebuilding our relationship to each other and ourselves ever since.

 

The worst day of my life almost cost hers.

[Optimist Prime]

7 minutes ago, Ilunga said:

 

It wasn't the worst day of my life, however when I had to make the decision for the vet to put down my beautiful girl Tusk, that was a really bad day. 

 

She was a big mastiff cross, my friend had a few litters out his two of his dogs.

 

Many of Tusks brothers and sisters used to hunt wild pigs with us.

Not Tusk, she was a family dog. 

I remember mum was cautious about a " killer " pig dog.

Within a few months she loved Tusk like a child. 

She was a gentle dog.

She lived to 16 and half.

Very old for such a large dog. 

She had a friend for a while, another dog who I found dumped on the side of the road near a friends house.

The poor thing had been brutally abused. 

 

Anyway, I cried my heart out.

Was gutted for days. 

I had, had dogs for all my life until she died in 2006.

I haven't been able to commit to a dog since.

 

Dogs give you something very few people do, unconditional love. 

 

It wasn't as bad as when mum and dad died.

 

I can't even talk about the worst day in my life.

It hurts to much.

 

 

Luv ya man, sorry I was grumpy in that other thread earlier.

[Ilunga]

1 minute ago, gwarrior said:

Wow, really 16 1/2? That's a good long life for any dog. Our first dog was 17 when we had to make that call. Making that call is the worst feeling. I don't wish that on anyone. 

 

She lived on a ten acre farm, was loved dearly by my mum, dad and me. 

She had a very good life. 

I used to cook her meals, mum made a " sweater for her when she got older, for winter. 

 

All my very close friends have dogs, they love them like their children.

 

I am very certain it is these things that contributed to her longevity. 

[Ilunga]

2 minutes ago, Optimist Prime said:

Luv ya man, sorry I was grumpy in that other thread earlier.

 

You never have to apologise my friend. 

 

However thank you for doing so. 

 

I know we both have our struggles with mental health issues. 

 

You will always have my support and love.

[gwarrior]

I'm absolutely sure everything there contributed to her longevity. As for my dogs being my children, I think of them more as siblings considering I'm an only child. 

9 minutes ago, Ilunga said:

 

She lived on a ten acre farm, was loved dearly by my mum, dad and me. 

She had a very good life. 

I used to cook her meals, mum made a " sweater for her when she got older, for winter. 

 

All my very close friends have dogs, they love them like their children.

 

I am very certain it is these things that contributed to her longevity. 

 

[Gnarcore]

9 hours ago, bishopshodan said:

ALS took my Dad.

I watched the light fade from my hero's eyes.

 

ALS got my uncle, along with his 3 best childhood friends, they were a case study as to have 4 people who grew up together all have it was statistically improbable. As you know all too well it is a tough way to see a loved one go.