Bllewellyn Posted December 2, 2023 Share Posted December 2, 2023 What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Naaacho cheese 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colonel D Posted December 2, 2023 Share Posted December 2, 2023 "The Aristocats" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heretic Posted December 14, 2023 Author Share Posted December 14, 2023 The Winter Boots (Anyone who has ever dressed a child will love this) Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her pupils put on his boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling, and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time they got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, 'Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. Unfortunately, it wasn't any easier pulling the boots off, than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as, together, they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the correct feet. He then announced, 'These aren't my boots.' She bit her tongue, rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?' like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they got the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. But my Mom made me wear 'em today.' Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry. But she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots BACK onto his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, 'Now, where are your mittens?' He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.' She'll be eligible for parole in three years. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted December 16, 2023 Share Posted December 16, 2023 Astronomers got tired after watching the moon orbit the earth for 24 hours. They decided to call it a day. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 18, 2023 Share Posted December 18, 2023 People who raise and look after chickens are literally chicken tenders. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoop Hogg Posted December 21, 2023 Share Posted December 21, 2023 Why does Herbal Essences smell so good? It’s not a real poo. It’s a shampoo. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 What do Santa's elves listen to while they work? Wrap music 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 22, 2023 Share Posted December 22, 2023 How much does Santa pay to park his sled on Christmas Eve. Free it's on the house. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 24, 2023 Share Posted December 24, 2023 Why don't aliens celebrate Christmas? Because they don't want to give away their presence. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 24, 2023 Share Posted December 24, 2023 What do they sing at a snowman's birthday party? Freeze a jolly good fellow. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 24, 2023 Share Posted December 24, 2023 Why is a human nose not 12 inches long? Because that would make it a foot. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 24, 2023 Share Posted December 24, 2023 What makes the best Christmas present? A broken drum. It can't be beat. 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted December 29, 2023 Share Posted December 29, 2023 I used to be addicted to soap, but now I'm clean 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoop Hogg Posted December 29, 2023 Share Posted December 29, 2023 What tv show is the all time favorite of the king of England? Charles In Charge. 1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 30, 2023 Share Posted December 30, 2023 What did the gingerbread man put on his bed? Cookie sheets of course. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bllewellyn Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 What do you call someone running from Jeffrey Dahmer? Fast food 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bllewellyn Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 What do wives and grenades have in common? once you pull the ring, the house is gone 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bllewellyn Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 (edited) Why did the orphan rob the bank to be wanted Edited December 31, 2023 by Bllewellyn 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bllewellyn Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 What is possibly the worst thing you could do at a funeral? The corpse 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted December 31, 2023 Share Posted December 31, 2023 Why do ants seem to be immune to the viruses that make humans ill ? Scientists think it's because they have antibodies. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoop Hogg Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 My buddy, Casper, went online in search for love, but he ended up ghosting every woman he talked to. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho_Path Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 You ever wonder who that Spanish pixie in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time that shows up in Kakariko village at Christmas time is? That's Feliz, Navi's dad 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted January 2 Share Posted January 2 I could be a stand up comedian, but I prefer to sit. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Psycho_Path Posted January 3 Share Posted January 3 How did the blonde starve to death? There was a packet in her bottle of pills that said 'do not eat' 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bllewellyn Posted January 9 Share Posted January 9 Nine months before I was born I went to a party with my dad and left with my mom 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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