Joe King Posted January 13 Share Posted January 13 Where does a snowman find the weather report? The winternet 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip The Mesh Posted January 15 Share Posted January 15 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted January 20 Share Posted January 20 Whoever said "out of sight, out of mind" Never had a spider disappear in the bedroom 1 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kragar Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 We all know Hanibal Lecter's fave veggies are fava beans, but what is his favorite soup? Ra(w)men 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted January 25 Share Posted January 25 5 ants rented an apartment with 5 other ants Now they're tenants 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Popular Post Heretic Posted January 26 Author Popular Post Share Posted January 26 Donald Trump, George Bush, and Justin Trudeau were set to face a firing squad in a Central American country. Donald Trump was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given, he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Donald Trump jumped over the wall and escaped during the confusion. George Bush was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled, and George pondered what he had just witnessed. Again, before the order was given George yelled out, "Tornado!" Again, the squad fell apart and George slipped over the wall. The last person, Justin Trudeau , was placed against the wall. He was thinking, I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall. He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction, he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!" And this story my friends reflects the true intelligence of the guy running our country. 1 3 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted January 26 Share Posted January 26 I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. You may ask why. But I just don't know "Y" 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 Did you know if you put your left shoe on the wrong foot, it's actually on the right foot. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 I saw my wife filming herself getting her hair styled I think she's planning to watch the highlights later 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted January 27 Share Posted January 27 Anyone can be buried when they die.But if you want to be cremated. you have to "urn" it. In our town the Cemetery is the most popular spot around. It seems people are just dying to get in there. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 If a man speaks in the forest and his wife isn't around to hear him, is he still wrong? 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoop Hogg Posted January 28 Share Posted January 28 What’s the wive’s paradox? When her husband tells her she’s always right and he’s always wrong. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted February 2 Share Posted February 2 There's one thing that always makes me throw up... A dartboard on a ceiling 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip The Mesh Posted February 5 Share Posted February 5 (edited) He's going to have plenty of fun with her! That is if she get a full time gig doing comedy. Edited February 7 by Rip The Mesh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heretic Posted February 8 Author Share Posted February 8 A man was telling his buddy over coffee, "You won't believe what happened last night. My daughter walked into the living room and said, "Dad, do not pay off my college tuition loan, cancel my allowance, throw away all my clothes and take my iPhone and laptop. In addition, please take all of my jewelry to the Salvation Army. Then, sell my car, take my front door key away from me and lock me out of your house. Then, disown me and never talk to me again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my share to anyone you choose." "Holy Smokes", replied the friend, "She actually said that?” The father replied, "Well, she didn't actually put it quite like that. I'm paraphrasing a little. What she actually said was, "Dad, meet my new boyfriend. We're going to work together on Trudeau’s 2024 re-election campaign." 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip The Mesh Posted February 8 Share Posted February 8 (edited) Edited February 8 by Rip The Mesh Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canuck You Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 Q: Have you seen the latest pirate movie? A: I heard it was rated Arrrgghhh. I'll take my leave. 2 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip The Mesh Posted February 9 Share Posted February 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rip The Mesh Posted February 10 Share Posted February 10 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4petesake Posted February 15 Share Posted February 15 My father died 25 years ago today. I’ll always remember his last words… ”Stop shaking the ladder you little shit!” 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snoop Hogg Posted February 16 Share Posted February 16 I’m constipated, but I don’t give a shit. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heretic Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 The Pasta Diet and Your Health ITALIAN PASTA DIET -- IT REALLY WORKS !! 1.. You walk pasta da bakery. 2... You walka pasta da candy store. 3.. You walka pasta da Ice Cream shop. 4.. You walka pasta da table and fridge. You will lose weight! AND.... For those of you who watch what you eat, here's the final word on nutrition and health. 1. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 2. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 3. The Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 4. The Italians drink a lot of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. 5.. The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than the English. CONCLUSION Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Mind Posted February 24 Share Posted February 24 My wife said: that's the 4th time you've gone back for dessert, doesn't that embarrass you? I said: No, I keep telling them it's for you. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe King Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 What's the four words you don't want to hear your better half say while your making love? Hello honey I'm home. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Heretic Posted March 5 Author Share Posted March 5 An armed thief entered a house mid-afternoon and found two people there. He tied up the woman and ordered the man at the point of his gun to hand over the family's jewellery and other valuables. The frightened man started sobbing, and said, "You can take anything you want, and even beat me up, but please, untie the rope and free her." “You must really love your wife!" "Not particularly, but she will be home shortly". 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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